Keep it simple If youve identified that the problem is a personal one, stick to simple and comforting responses Im sorry or This is a horrible situation. Dont tell him that everythings going to be OK or imply that he should buck up. Im particularly troubled that it sounds like she may be using it to deflect work responsibility, so that co-workers are being presented with the choice of facing her meltdown or fixing/doing her work. Thats been my experience, too. They arent personally resonant stories. That said, either the employee needs to get help so she can cope with this problem, or the OP is well within parameters to fire her. In addition to Allisons advice, it couldnt hurt to refer her to the EAP if its offered. You have to give it a few months and evaluate, and then maybe try another one. If you feel upset about something that happens keep it to yourself. Would she cry if she had the hots for someone in the room? Normal for me, that is. I witnessed a car accident today and was bawling my eyes out while giving first aid. Instead of feeling driven up the wall by someone and then just stewing in that vexation, tune into how that action or trait of theirs is calling you to learn a lesson about yourself. Indeed. I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and given a prescription. Ive seen fakers switch off and on and if their job is on the line they suddenly act all normal. I think if i had stuck around Dysfunction Junction into my 20s or so it would have been even harder. I have a relative in her late 40s who is like this and its due to some serious mental illness. Our manager didnt handle crying well and would always stammer and say something like um, yeah, well and walk away. 1. I guess I just dont see the advantage in maligning the crying employee. And frankly it sounds like crying worker cant hold this job. Im fine with getting negative feedback or criticism. And its true. As in, I can require they go talk to the EAP if I have serious concerns about their behavior or emotional state (this would usually be done as part of disciplinary steps). Give her a tissue and tell her she cant act that way at work any more. Thats just the way it has to be! Can you do that?. I have a severe anxiety disorder and some other personal issues. This is taken directly from the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. While he was gone (he later found out), Jane broke down and explained the situation to her colleagues, who consoled her. My boss is in the needs to know so is somewhat aware that Im not myself on those daysno one else needs to know because it gets them to far up into my businessI dont need to explain my chronic medical issues to everyone I deal with). I am both an easy crier and an angry crier. Warn, document, terminate. I would probably go the chicken route and send an email, right? Her mother had always wanted a girl, and she didnt have one until her youngest boy was about 12 years old. When I returned the whole mood of the room had changed, he recalls. Managers should be able to gently ask questions that get at the underlying issue. It could be that she cannot hold down a job. Focus on work-related concerns The most helpful thing you can do is listen and try to help them solve their work-related concerns, Kreamer advises. Unfortunately, in the case of annoying co-workers, you cant simply remove them from your life. The fact is nobody really knows what kind of personal stuff people have gone through or are going through. Sensitivity is wonderful but at the end of the day, its my responsibility, not my managers. I dont know where youre located, but I sympathize with your staff. I love that dog food commercial with the soldier coming home and the huge matching wolfhound pouncing on her but for a couple months after I saw it, I cried at every dog commercial. This type of behavior only works if there is an audience and you will be removing her audience. She has not spoken one word to me since the cut direct I say good morning and she looks the other direction. Emily doesn't have enough problems. My neighbors son has always been a good, sweet young man. Its absolutely possible to ask someone why they are having very strange behavior at work without being subject to lawsuits if the reason their behavior is weird is because of a disability People do it all the time, and there are plenty of examples of this all over AAM. Im crying over THIS? Lets break this down this: Its all about the context of the conversation and the particular individual. Not to talk? I would gently suggest that she see a counselor. I have held back tears at the DMV and in airport security. Couldnt the manager give her timeline to get this under control? Angry People: 11 Ways To Deal With Hotheads - Live Bold and Bloom I need you to stop doing that. I think what really bothers the op is that they're working while the co worker isn't. And, frankly it should be addressed from a "does the co-worker have enough to do" workload perspective. This happens to me when I hear emotional stories, too. Hat tip to you. Those arent workplace skills, they are personal issues. Yeah, Im not suggesting you start asking if her dog is sick or something. Difficult co-workers can high-jack your emotions. Good luck with yours. "I mean obviously you don't want to just give yourself up to that person," she says, "but you want avoid directly challenging their detail-oriented nature and express appreciation of their dedication.". If she starts crying in a meeting, tell her calmly, Why dont you excuse yourself for a few minutes? If she cant regain her composure, suggest she take some PTO and return tomorrow. This past school year I found myself reverting back to crying. Get frustrated and angry at coworker (and boss) easily. Your workplace is not meetup.com or a therapists office. I used to work with someone who was bipolar and would go on insane manic episodes. She is acting like a child and you may feel like you are treating her like one but calling her out each time she does something keeps her from thinking she can do it sometimes. It needs to stop., I like this script. I cry at work sometimes but not in front of others and not for no good reason. I hate it and I cant help it, and I certainly go out of my way to avoid doing it. If you start talking about why they're angry, they're likely to say hurtful things like "you're not . Yes, this is so true! People think to be professional, you need to ignore your emotions and those of the people around you, says Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, an associate professor of management and organization at the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, whose research shows this to be the norm in most American workplaces. The biggest reason great people leave jobs is because of lousy managers. Suggesting to an employee who is constantly crying at work that maybe they should be evaluated by a professional steps outside the line of what is okay. Major negative connotations. I have found that on the few times Ive cried at work that some people have immediately tried to soothe me and tell me not to feel bad about X because it wasnt my fault, and not to let Y hurt my feelings. my employee constantly cries when things don't go her way Eventually I just stopped going over to their house to play, not that it changed their mothers behavior at all. Unfortunately, according to Foster, these types of people often get "inappropriately promoted." @LBKI think with a change you have a different framework, but even there I think its about how you frame the work situation rather than a therapeutically phrased inquiry. #nocornmeal, Hahaha apparently putting hashtags in comments puts them in automatic moderation. Leveraging the displeasure they cause you in order to practice self-awareness and become a better leader in the process, however, is. 169: How to Support an Upset Co-Worker And, also that the person is clearly being manipulative. If you're dealing with a coworker who argues over every detail of a project, Foster recommends actually giving them a little control. I hope it works out for you. End of personal involvement. Okay, I am not a crier, but those two calls wouldve got to me too. All of these are likely enough, but its also plenty likely that the person is being brought to tears by some aspect of the job. They achieved the status, with him, of too fragile and delicate not to get their own way and everyone else was expected to tiptoe around them. This type of behavior is probably deeply ingrained and a pattern shes held onto for a long time. Ellen died right before the office closed for the Christmas holiday, and over the break, Jessica worked with the executive director to come up with a plan for the staffs return. I guarantee the only wrong shes getting is being told to do her job. All this stuff works for me most of the time. But theres no faster way to lose respect in the workplace than crying in public. Yes! Question: What do you do when you ask her to excuse herself and she pretends like you didnt say anything or flat out refuses? Employee, you must decide if this job is for you or not. That said, I have worked with and continue to work with people who cry or throw fits over EVERYTHING! Ugh! She cant stand the sound of children playing because it is loud and distracting even when they play quietly. Nope. I think even if shes got no medical reason its not likely to be a conscious manipulation that leaves her skipping home with glee afterI think at the very least shes pretty unhappy. The parent arrived on time, but I was late because the person coming to cover my class was late. Id say something like this to her: When you react so strongly, its disruptive and makes it difficult for us to move forward with our work. What those consequences are will depend on whether this is ultimately a deal-breaker for you, but could start with a stern conversation with you the next time it happens, and could end up anywhere from impacting her performance evaluations and raises to letting her go if the behavior is disruptive enough. Zoloft is the nectar of the Gods as far as Im concerned. I think instead of the OP presenting a list of healthy coping strategies, or recommending professional help, the OP could tell the employee that she needs to manage her emotions and what strategies might the employee suggest to do that? If you need to talk about it talk to someone out side of work like a friend or therapist. Like Allison said even if she cant control crying she can control this. Sadly, its negative consequences that are what it often takes. If you had someone missing deadlines, you would tell them that needs to stop but you would also ask what they think is causing it and how you could address it, right?